As humans we constantly seek validation.
We naturally surround ourselves with people who share our views, have similar tastes and who will support us in whatever we do.
It’s with these people that we build our strongest relationships.
No matter how open-minded we think we are, it’s always hard to hear people disagree with us, criticise us, even dislike us.
A great example of this is social media.
If you look at any social media platform, an integral part is the ability to like and share content.
We share our lives, or whatever interests us, in the hope of getting approval and positive comments from our friends. They can then share our posts and grow our network of likeminded people even further.
We want to be socially accepted and celebrated.
And it’s addictive.
If we constantly seek and receive approval, over time it can become a need and can affect our everyday choices.
Have you ever made a decision based upon what someone else will think of you, or to please them? Even when it went against your own feelings and values?
Making decisions in this way is damaging. It stops us from doing the things we want to do and can cause procrastination and fear.
It can stop us taking action, trying new things, fulfilling our potential and achieving success.
So, we have to ask ourselves, does the acceptance and approval of others truly make us happy?
It’s Time To Set Yourself Free
We need to admit that we give others too much control over how we feel and live.
When our happiness and pleasure is reliant on the approval of others, we no longer have control of our own destiny.
So, in order to achieve our full potential and create true happiness we need to let go of this need for approval.
“no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”Eleanor Roosevelt
Here are 6 ways that you can set yourself free, and take back control:
1. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
“Don’t compare yourself to others, that’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself”Will Smith
We live in an age of envy. Wherever we look we are bombarded with images of how people are living their best life.
But remember, you only see what people want you to see, in Photoshop.
Your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you.
When you feel good about something, who you are or something you’ve done, don’t let other people’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from you.
2. Stop Trying To Please Everyone
“If you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing none, sometimes not even yourself” Alok Pandey
You can’t please everyone, and not everyone will approve of the way you live your life.
It’s simply not possible.
So, stop living your life for others and start living it for yourself.
3. Stop Fearing Change
“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being excited about what could go right”Tony Robbins
People typically don’t like change. Even though it’s a constant part of our lives, both personally and professionally.
So, if you want to do something different, chances are those around you will give you plenty or reasons why it’s not a good idea.
But if we spend out time listening to negativity and fearing change, we can miss out on life.
Change brings possibilities, education and growth.
4. Stop Dwelling On What Others Might Think Of You
“People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them”George Bernard Shaw
It’s impossible to turn off your feelings, so you will always have a natural reaction to the opinions of others.
But dwelling on these feelings, or speculating about what others think is a waste of your time and energy.
5. Avoid Toxic People
“Stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution”Albert Einstein
Jim Rohn once said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
Just as positive people can support you in your path to success and fulfilment, toxic people drag you down with them into their negativity.
I’m sure you’ve experienced it when one negative person sucks the positivity and energy from a room. Well, this also applies in life.
If you want happiness and success in your life, surround yourself with happy and successful people.
6. Stop Putting Yourself Down
“Self love is the source of all our other loves”Pierre Corneille
Life won’t always go our way.
We all make mistakes and we all have insecurities, even if we don’t show them.
So be careful how you talk to yourself. If you tell yourself you’re not good enough, you’ll end up believing it.
James Hunter said “thoughts become actions, actions become habits, habits become our character and our character becomes our destiny”.
So, whilst you can’t control what others think of you, you can control what you think of yourself.
Lift yourself up, live your life authentically and reflect on everything you are grateful for.
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I’m always keen to hear from you, so leave a comment below or if you have any questions then contact me directly.